I'm not here to look for either a date or a relationship. Hence no photo. I answered match questions only because I was trying to figure out the matching algorithm.

Keeping these in mind before reading on, here's the rest of my profile.

While surfing without purpose one day, I came across OkCupid and the tests here piqued my curiosity. "The Dating Persona Test" held my interest enough for me to take and complete it, and its many possible results fascinated me after I read through all of them, trying to understand the system behind it and how it attempts to match people based on their results.

That members can create tests of their own moved me to join as a member in a heartbeat. I created my first test almost immediately after joining. Then I deleted it just as quickly. It was crap.

Before attempting to create another test, I ventured forth to take the rest of the staff tests and a few user-created tests. I was most impressed by the "The Personality Defect Test" and "The 3 Variable Funny Test" and how they worked to generate their results.

I ambitiously plunged into writing tests that juggle up to 4 variables. Abysmal failure. Deletion was inevitable.

In the end, I decided that I don't have a complex enough mind or a foolproof enough system to put more than one variable in a test that would work properly.

The conclusion to this tiresome tale is that I made a conscious choice to use just one variable in the tests that I write. After spending an inordinate amount of time creating, editing and deleting countless tests, I've finally come up with a couple of tests that should work properly without springing a leak under normal conditions. All bets are off when it rains though.

Although the scoring system I use may be crude, I'm still proud of my creations.

Some shameless plugging here.

You should be able to find them under the "Tests" section of my profile page. The two are "The Game Cheat Test" and "The Can You Win the World Cup? Test".

The titles are pretty self-explanatory. If you are interested, please take them and feel free to send me any feedback you might have.

Thank you.

I am no longer new, yet curious at times, and friendly enough

I'm living on hope.

From time to time, I'll message people (and not just females) who seem interesting on OkCupid. I don't get a lot of replies though. Let me rephrase that. I get close to zilch. And Zilch isn't really too thrilled.

I'll assume that it's due to my lack of a photo. Or maybe they're looking for something or someone different. And a straight male doesn't fit their plans. Or their restraints.

When I do end up getting a message in my inbox, I'll eventually find out that it's a standard format one from an OkCupid staff member. What a killjoy.

trying too hard.

wanting too much.

My shadow.

It blocks their light.

(1) my sense of sight, to see the light.

(2) my sense of hearing, to lend a sympathetic ear.

(3) my sense of taste, to experience the eternal lightness of being.

(4) my sense of smell, to smell the coffee.

(5) my sense of touch, to feel for others.

(6) my sense of humour, so as not to be overwhelmed by my other senses.

the fact that I'll never reach 100% profile completion on OkCupid because I don't obey the site's prompt to upload a photo.

waiting for the dawning of the Saturday sun.

I love the sun.

Without it, people won't notice my shadow.

Occasionally, I'll change my settings and browse anonymously around the site.

I'll feel a furtive thrill of excitement, followed by a strange rush of liberation, before this is chased down by a crushing sense of loss.

This intense outburst of melancholy, I blame upon the "Warning!" beside the "Browse anonymously" option which exhorts me not to do so because "previous records are destroyed forever".

Forever is such a long time..... Surely, I would miss them someday?

Then I'll remember that I've already checked the home page before checking the option.

There were no previous records in the first place.

What an irony.

• you have any feedback, suggestions or comments on my tests - constructive, destructive or otherwise.

• you have read my profile all the way to this point - you might as well send me a message. My inbox is underutilised. I've kept all my messages since 2005 because there's no need to delete any of them. There's no half full or half empty analogy here since messages take up less than a fifth of the space available in my inbox.

• you are looking for something or someone that dropped off your mind like it did on "The Skinny" of my profile, and you think that I might be one of the things or ones you are looking for. Plus somehow by a strange twist of fate or an amazing stroke of luck, you also believe that a person with no photo does not necessarily mean that that person must have an ugly mug.

• you saw my ugly mug. I was drinking coffee while writing this profile. I put it down while typing, and in the next moment, it wasn't there when I reached for it. Queer, isn't it?