I hold many secrets. I know what "Radcliffy" means. I have a function that converts you and your profile into pennies, which I haven't used on you yet.

No power in the verse can stop me.

Oh, also! I have a HUGE crush on that girl, Queen Latifah.

I want good things to happen to people.

I'm happily married to the best girl who ever was. She comes first in my life, while I only come third in hers, behind her parents' puppy and whatever other dog is nearby.

Also, I helped create OkCupid with my friends and business partners Sam, Max, and Christian. I work a lot here. If you want to send me feedback, I'd love to hear from you. I'm slow in replying because my inbox is huge, but I'll read your note eventually.

Matching you up.

A couple years ago in Costa Rica I howled at a howler monkey until it took a big steaming green crap in its own hand and threw it on my wife.

If you're ok with my not replying for a couple weeks.